The Empire Review: Not Your Typical Aliens

Bruno Dumont’s The Empire is an occasionally funny B-movie that’s let down by uneven pacing and a surprisingly serious tone.

It’s got the same ingredients as Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs but with the benefit of having been released forty years and more than ten Star Wars movies later. Thus, a lot could be parodied in this absurd tale set in a village in Northern France.

Unfortunately, the end result is rather disappointing. The Empire can be sufficiently funny at times, especially when it decides to revel in the absurdity of its premise, like when it focuses on the leader of the aforementioned Evil Empire, a floating black blob that inhabits the body of an eccentric old man (Fabrice Luchini). But when it tries to say something about the nature of humanity, the complexities of good and evil, or the kinds of emotional connections people can make during sex, the film ends up feeling rather half-baked and even lazy.

It certainly doesn’t help that The Empire isn’t quite as hilarious as it thinks it is. This is the kind of movie that contains plenty of failed gags and cringe-inducing moments, making some of its characters (like the aforementioned leader of the Bad Guys, amazingly named Beezlebub) prance around and make faces, and some of the others act like they’re in a Shakespearean production. I get that most of the humour should derive from the contrast between the absurd and the ultra-serious, but therein lies the problem: it should, but it doesn’t. Most of the time, The Empire seems unsure of what it wants to do or what kind of tone it wants to convey, which results in a confounding experience.

As the film starts, we see a naked woman sunbathing at the beach. She’s Line (Lyna Khoudri, of the recent Three Musketeers duology and The French Dispatch) and as it turns out, she’s an alien. She belongs to the Zero Empire, an evil force that wants to conquer and destroy everyone on Earth. She’s living in a quaint village in Northern France with her (very human) stepdad because a sort of Chosen One has been born there. Jony’s (Brandon Vlieghe) toddler son, the Wain, is the embodiment of evil, and thus the key to the annihilation of humanity.

But as you might imagine, there’s another force there to stop them. The Ones, led by a Queen (Camille Cottin), have sent two of their representatives to the village: Lara Croft-looking Jane (a hypnotising Anamaria Vartolomei, of Happening and Mickey 17) and bumbling Rudy (Julien Manier). Together, they must find a way to stop the baby from growing up, becoming an adult and helping their enemies. But there’s a problem: Jane starts becoming more and more human, and thus, begins lusting for Jony, his sworn enemy.

If the plot sounds a bit stereotypical, it’s because it’s using the clichés normally found in generic sci-fi movies to satirise the genre. For example, The Empire uses an interesting contrast between the designs of the enemy ships –all resembling palaces and ancient cathedrals– and the mundanity of the fishing village in order to remind the audience of colonialist Europe and the awful things they did in, for example, the Americas (like in Peru, my home country). That’s all well and good, but besides all that, Dumont doesn’t manage to develop an interesting narrative, using all his ideas quite superficially and mainly for laughs.

The problem is that there aren’t many laughs, and the story is told in quite a lethargic manner, which results in glacially-paced scenes that admittedly feature some beautiful scenery and a couple of interesting VFX shots. The premise doesn’t lack potential, but the underdeveloped characters, half-baked ideas and cringe-inducing humour don’t do it any favours. Dumont seems interested only in making fun of its characters or making them behave weirdly, which makes it impossible for the viewer to root for any of them or care about the central conflict. Yes, the Earth is supposed to be hanging in the balance, but because we never really get to know any human characters (and the aliens are all too, well, alien), it all feels pretty empty.

If anything in The Empire works, though, it’s mainly due to its talented cast. Lyna Khoudri seems to be having fun portraying Line, a sort of satire of the “sexy alien lady” stereotype, who spends a good chunk of the movie on her phone. Fabrice Luchini gives a comedically broad performance as Beelzebub, but that’s exactly what the character needs; don’t forget he’s supposed to be a big, floating trash bag trapped in a human body. Brandon Vlieghe takes everything seriously as Jony, the father of what could very well be considered the Antichrist, and Julien Manier manages to give an understatedly funny performance as Rudy, the wielder of a funny-looking and (hopefully) copyright-free lightsaber.

And then there’s Anamaria Vartolomei, she of the big, expressive blue eyes and the Lara Croft-coded outfit (she could definitely play an amazing Tomb Raider, as long as she manages to do a convincing British accent). I consider her the true protagonist of The Empire, an alien who gradually starts finding her humanity within. She’s convincing, she grabs the camera’s attention and she even features in a scene that would be quite heartbreaking in a less ridiculous movie. She gives it her all, demonstrating that even a cheesy B-movie like this one deserves a powerfully portrayed main character.

Nevertheless, some of her scenes also show why the now-retired actress Adèle Haenel decided to leave the project after having disagreements with Dumont about the script. Vartolomei spends most of the film either wearing a bikini or a tank top and short shorts and even takes part in a rather gratuitous sex scene that, I guess, proves that love conquers all. Scratch that, it proves that lust conquers all (this is a French movie after all). In fact, all the naked bodies in The Empire belong to the female characters which, considering that Dumont seems to be saying that these aliens are finding their inner humanity through sexual encounters, feels quite unfair. And sexist and male-gazey, of course.

Nevertheless, I can’t quite say I hated watching The Empire. It’s too imaginative, too absurd and too broadly comedic to be completely bad, and it features enough competent performances to compensate for its biggest defects. Anamaria Vartolomei is truly amazing (and in a different way than in the heartbreaking Happening), some of the visual effects are quite impressive, and the ideas that Dumont introduces in the script are interesting, such as the contrast between the fantastical and the mundane, or the issues related to the nature of good and evil. The problem is, he doesn’t seem to know just how funny he wants to be, and most of the concepts are treated superficially and briefly. The Empire is certainly not for everyone and it can even be perceived as problematic, but it still has its charms.

The Empire will be released in US theatres on March 7, 2025.