The Bionic Woman (1976): Episode 13 Review

Jaime Sommers is on vacation in The Bionic Woman episode 13, but it’s cut short when she’s seen to be in two places at once. 

The introductory credits and music play, then we’re at Jaime’s place. Jim (Ford Rainey) is there – Steve Austin’s dad, remember? – to take Jaime to the airport, for she’s headed to Nassau. But before that, shouldn’t she clean up? Jaime might have a plane to catch, but there’s also dishes to clean! What is she to do? Well, the first time I saw Jaime use her bionic powers to complete chores I thought it pleasantly mundane, but it’s become more insulting each time since. 

Jim looks on, being no help, with a big grin, and shaking his head. Like he’s watching a mischievous child. And the blokes in his position always have a line ready for when Jaime finishes what she’s doing. What will it be this time, do you think? “You sure are some kind of woman, Jaime”? “I’ve never met a woman quite like you, Jaime”? “If only all women were like you, Jaime”? A drum roll, if you could. And… Jim: “You’re incredible, Jaime”. A man of few words is Jim. Of course, if Jaime left her flat a mess she’d be lazy, and if she missed the plane for cleaning her flat she’d be disorganised, so there’s no option but to be incredible, really. Empowering stuff.

We then cut between the two Wagner’s for a spell. Jaime’s on a beach, sunbathing. Lisa originally has a Southern accent, so prepare yourself for that. Jaime’s being drugged and kidnapped. Lisa’s being kitted out with pens, an OSI security pass, a camera bracelet, and a lipstick gas bomb. Oscar is confused as to why Jaime is in his office and not in the Bahamas.

If you were to pause The Bionic Woman episode 13 near the twelve minute mark, and guess as to how the rest of it may pan out, you might hazard that the bad guys will try to kill Jaime and fail, whilst Lisa makes progress at the OSI. Then, either Jaime will figure out a bit of what’s going on and rush to Oscar’s aid, or Oscar will figure out a bit of what’s going on and rush to Jaime’s aid, with all ending well. 

Five minutes later, however, and the baddies’ scheme has already been rustled. Which I suppose makes you feel pretty silly. Pausing the telly and making guesses like that. It’s certainly nothing I’d ever do. So, what happens with the rest of the episode? Maybe you’d be so good as to watch this one yourself, give me an episode’s break, and I’ll come back next week to finish off the series – and I do mean series. 

I’m glad to not really be a completionist, forcing myself to watch the remainder of this entire show, and all of The Six Million Dollar Man (1973), and all of the later reunion movies too. Doing so might give me a little more to talk about, when I step out of my time machine for a spot of tennis in ‘70s Ojai, slowly on my way to witness Socrates drink hemlock tea in ‘90s Athens. But aside from that, I’m finding no reason to bother with it all. The more I see of The Bionic Woman, the more I suspect Jaime’s appearances in The Six Million Dollar Man to have been the best of it. 

I did enjoy “Jaime’s Mother,” though. The locality of it, the investigation, the focus being firmly on Jaime – her memories and her relationships – rather than being on this week’s villain (or this week’s sidekick). “The Deadly Missiles” and “Canyon of Death” share in some of that too, both demonstrating Jaime’s potential as a friendly neighbourhood superhero, and that the show doesn’t need to leave Ojai to raise the stakes. But is the next episode going to deliver on these things? And if it does, will there be more than three episodes in the following series (and the one after that) that I enjoy similarly? Isn’t it irritating how I can only find out by watching further? 

The Bionic Woman episode 13, then, rather than wait nearer the end for Jaime and Lisa to meet, introduces one to the other at around the halfway point. This means the story now becomes, for Jaime, about retrieving whatever Lisa has managed to get out of the building these last few days, and becomes, for episode writer James D. Parriott: “what sort of hijinx can I create with two Jaimes?”. 

From that little idea we get a couple of gross, cringe-inducing moments with Lisa’s boyfriend, and a few cues under which the Benny Hill theme wouldn’t be out of place, where Wagner appears as Jaime, and then as Lisa soon after, or as Lisa, and then as Jaime soon after. 

There’s then a bit right at the end of The Bionic Woman episode 13, where Jaime is only identified against Lisa through a display of her bionic powers. “I’ve got your looks, but I sure don’t have your moves”, says Lisa. Which might make for small ammunition in a comparison between the superpowered female characters of now and then, if you’ve the energy. 

Jaime Sommers is an icon of femininity because she’s capable of things other ladies aren’t, and effort is expended in presenting her as being different from those other women. Whereas, let’s say, Captain Marvel is an icon of femininity because she’s capable of things other ladies aren’t, and effort is expended in presenting her as being similar to those other women. The difference between using superpowers to clean dishes and to decimate spaceships, I suppose? But perhaps not. As I implied, that sort of writing requires someone more energetic. Repetitive episode reviews are more my speed. Still, it’s something I can keep in the pantry, isn’t it? A little snack for thinking on.

Episode 13 of The Bionic Woman is now available to watch on digital and on demand.