Tracie Laymon, director of Bob Trevino Likes It, sits down for an interview about adapting real life to film and the power of kindness.
When Tracie Laymon’s father stopped talking to her, she reached out to a man on Facebook who had the same name, thinking it might be him. Instead, she found herself in a friendship with a stranger. Laymon chose to tell this story in her film, Bob Trevino Likes It.
Lily Trevino (Barbie Ferreria) is trying to build a life on her own, but nothing seems to be going her way. The boy she was seeing is going behind her back with other girls, and her father, Robert (French Stewart), keeps using her for money. When she accidentally ruins a date that he set up, he tells her that he doesn’t want her in his life anymore. She tries desperately to engage with him, but he refuses to speak with her. As a last-ditch effort, she logs onto Facebook and sends a friend request to Bob Trevino (John Leguizamo), who accepts her request.
They build a friendship online with likes and comments and some messages, and eventually meet in real life when Lily’s toilet overflows. Through their friendship, Lily begins to see her value, and Bob begins to heal from the loss of his son. Bob Trevino Likes It is a beautiful reflection on the necessity of connection and the way that kindness creates light in the darkest parts of our lives.
We had the opportunity to interview Tracie Laymon about adapting her real life for a script, addressing heavy topics in an accessible manner, and how we can make an impact on others, even in a short period of time.
Check out our interview below.
Tracie Laymon on translating personal experience into a script
Thank you so much for joining me for this interview, Tracie! So, Bob Trevino Likes It is kind of the feel-good movie of the year. I know it’s based loosely on your personal experience. Can you talk about that a little bit?
Tracie Laymon: Yeah, it’s inspired by a real situation in my life. When I was younger, my dad would sometimes get mad at me and return my calls or emails. One of these times in 2012, I thought, well, maybe he’s on Facebook. I was being very resourceful. I was going to fix it. So I put his name into Facebook and accidentally friended another man with his name, who ended up being kind to me for the sake of being kind. He had no idea what I was going through on the other side.
This friendship was actually in the nine years leading up to this movie. And you know, every year, he said ‘Happy birthday’ with my dad’s name, even though my dad wasn’t saying it, in those nine years. I have so many little examples of these small acts of kindness from him that helped me heal. And I just thought, you experienced something like that, and you kind of owe it to share it, because we tend to think that these things don’t matter, or everything’s negative and dark, and we don’t have this kind of power. But, you know, something as small as a kind comment to someone on the internet can turn their life around. You and I would not be talking unless a stranger had been kind to me on the internet. So if that doesn’t prove that it matters, I don’t know what does.
Going with that, social media is often cited as the reason why people struggle to connect. But it’s obviously so instrumental in the movie. Can you talk about the role that you see social media playing in relationships?
TL: I know it was a little different in 2012, but even so, I wanted to bring that kind of nostalgia back a little bit with this film. So I was able to take that heart and put it in a more modern context. But I think social media can be used for good or for evil. I just remembered this feeling when we got the internet, when I was young, and I felt less alone. I felt like I could connect with people – both people who were and weren’t like me – and not feel alone, and my world opened up. I think that we’ve strayed from that. We’re now like, ‘Oh, I’m only going to talk to people just like me,’ and we’re going to put down other people and all these kinds of things. And people just use it as a receptacle for their anger and things like that.
I’m like, those are human beings, you know. Sometimes I look at these negative comments on a chain, trying to see if someone said something kind. Did one person on this whole chain say something kind? If I find that one person, it gives me hope. And if I can’t find that one person, I’m going to be that one person.
We have this power to change things, to shift things, and I just want us to use it, so I had to make the movie to say this. It’s easy to think that it’s all darkness, and it’s all bad, and we forget that we’re the light. You know, social media is a tool. It’s not a thing. It’s not like a person. It’s not an evil being, even if it’s a corporation or whatever; it’s a tool. So you get to decide what you pay attention to. You get to decide how you act. You get to decide how you treat people. And I think if we could all just be a little kinder on there, it’d be a better world.
Using film to discuss complex topics
One of the things that I think this film does really well is that it addresses a lot of topics, like toxic masculinity and co-dependency, without specifically naming them. Can you speak to just how you navigated these buzzword kinds of topics without making them feel buzzy?
Tracie Laymon: I focused on the emotional truth. You know, having lived these emotional experiences and these arcs, a little bit helped. It always helped to think, ‘What is the character thinking and feeling?’ And what tactics have I seen? And it was almost like I just had to relive some of it and put it in there.
I didn’t have to analyze it so much; even when I was directing French Stewart’s character, we never judged him. We never called him a narcissist. We never used terms like gas lighting or anything like that, because as a director, I feel like you’re supposed to be on your character’s side in a way. You don’t want him to be a caricature, so I would always come at his scenes thinking, ‘Oh, of course, Lily’s gonna give you the money. And look at all these things you did for her.’ I think that helped a lot.
I don’t know if you know Dr. Ramani Durvasula, but she’s really incredible. She’s one of the world’s leading experts on narcissists, and she calls this one of the most accurate depictions of a narcissist she’s ever seen on film. I think I’d been watching her for a while, so I probably had her stuff in my head too. She’s amazing.
So Bob Trevino Likes It is also about this generational friendship between an older man and a young woman, and it avoids being creepy, which is just really impressive in itself. Can you talk about the challenges that you experienced in writing that?
TL: It was so important to me, something that I really needed to protect. Any time we crossed a line in any way, if it were to happen, it would ruin the whole movie. So I remember telling the cast, specifically John, that he could not use tactics to charm or flirt. He could not do that to get what he wanted. If he was funny, it had to be an accident or a dad joke. And every shot was, ‘What are they thinking? What are they feeling?’ Not ‘what do they look like’. So whatever the angles of the camera, the lighting, the costumes, the direction I gave them as actors was always meant to bring out who they are on the inside. I thought, if we can focus on that in the movie, we can focus on that in the world. What a better world it would be. And so this was very much my intention. Luckily, everybody on board really got that and showed up for it.
Avoiding toxic positivity and honoring loss
This film manages to walk this really fine line of being a very earnest movie without crossing into being saccharine and kind of happy-go-lucky. Can you talk about how you balanced that in writing the script?
Tracie Laymon: I didn’t want to make a toxic positive movie, or a Hallmark movie. Not to knock Hallmark, but it’s not like my style. So to me, the key was not being afraid of the darkness. To be honest about trauma. Saying it’s not that. Lily is not unaware of the darkness. She’s not a doormat, she’s a survivor. And so focusing on our characters, how they’re broken, and how they’re imperfect, like all of us. How they choose to navigate and show up for each other in the world, that was my North Star.
Speaking of traumatic things, one of the things that really affected me, as somebody who has lost an infant, is the child loss. Can you just talk about writing that? And that aspect of the movie?
TL: I don’t get this question very much, and thanks for asking it. I knew I needed to create a vacuum, a void in Bob and Jeanie’s (Bob’s wife) life, and I didn’t want to just put anything in there. I had some friends who lost their child at two weeks old, and I’d met them through volunteering for the organization that was inspired by their son. I just thought they were such lovely people. And I thought about their son a lot. I thought he inspired this whole organization. In just two weeks, he inspired all this. I thought, I think he’s going to inspire this character, too.
And so those are pictures of him in the baby book. The father has gotten to see the movie, and when I asked permission to use the photos, they said, ‘If his life can help one person heal, you know, then we want to do it.’ We treated that book with such respect when we carried it around the set. I think just honoring real loss in my life, both for me and for my friends and people I care about.
I always tried to bring emotional truth into everything, and also to show that even in two weeks, this child could inspire so much. That storyline would not exist without a child who lived for two weeks. Shane is the little boy who inspired the character David. So you know you can do so much with whatever you have, and we need each other. I’ve heard that this movie has helped some people grieve in that way. One man saw the movie on the second anniversary of losing his child, and did a TikTok about it, and I sent it to Shane’s dad to say, ‘You said, if one helped one person, it was worth it. I want you to know that it’s more than one person.’
Thank you so much for speaking with me. It’s a beautiful movie and I wish you all the best.
TL: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
This interview was edited for length and clarity.
Bob Trevino Likes It is now available to watch on digital platforms.
Header credits: Barbie Ferreira and John Leguizamo in Bob Trevino Likes It (Courtesy of Roadside Attractions) / Writer-director Tracie Laymon attends the New York Premiere of the film at LOOK Dine-In Cinemas W57th on March 19, 2025 in New York City. (Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
