Familiar Touch Review: Heartbreaking & Touching

Sarah Friedland’s Familiar Touch is an ode to finding yourself later in life and the facilities and people who support you in the process.

Familiar Touch follows Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant), an octogenarian woman who transitions into life in a care centre. Once she can’t live on her own anymore, her son takes her to a care facility called Bella Vista. At first, Ruth does not even understand why she should be there as she feels perfectly in control of her life on her own and does not know anyone or anything about the facility itself. But as she becomes more familiar with her carers and the other residents, Ruth has to reconcile her desires and her sense of identity with this new way of life in assisted living.

From its opening scene, Familiar Touch brings the audience into the life of the protagonist in a very intimate way. As Ruth hustles in the kitchen, we only hear the diegetic sound of her chopping the ingredients and cooking; this may seem like a normal day in her life – so much so that looking in on it almost feels voyeuristic and intrusive – but it is not. We soon realise that something is off about Ruth and her interactions with those around her.

It becomes increasingly clear that Ruth has dementia, but Familiar Touch never uses this for shock value or as a big reveal for the audience to be surprised at, and this will be her last day living in her house. As the film goes on, viewers get to know Ruth just as intimately as she paves her way into the care facility, reconciling her dreams and desires with what her life looks like now. Overall, the protagonist is not treated as a confused victim of her illness, as a lot of people would often imagine dementia patients to be, but instead, as a woman who still wants to cook for others and ask her doctors about the medicine she is taking. For the most part, Ruth seems capable and headstrong in how she moves about her life.

The focus on an older woman is fascinating as that age group is rarely represented on screen at all, let alone in a main role. And perhaps more importantly, Familiar Touch also makes elderly people the protagonists behind the camera as well. As the ending intertitles inform us, it was made in collaboration with the residents and staff of Villa Gardens, a care facility in California, who took part in the movie as both cast and crew. Their participation only elevates the sweet and tender portrayal of the care facility in the film. The latter is one of the most touching parts of the film: although Ruth would rather live on her own, the support and love she receives within the Bella Vista community allows her to grow as an older adult.

However, I would have liked to see more of the facility in the movie too as its residents and staff only feel like extras that move the story forwards rather than characters in their own right. Instead, Familiar Touch focuses almost exclusively on Ruth. And yet, despite all its attention being on her, the film also does not explore Ruth as much as it could have. The fact that the audience only gets to know her at this stage in her life is very interesting, but I would have also liked to know a little bit more about her life before the care facility. In particular, her relationship with her son could have been expanded on as the audience knows very little about her family at all.

Even if Familiar Touch is not a perfect film, I still very much enjoyed it. Its narrative makes it feel unique, even in the array of movies that also treat dementia, with its spotlight on the residents and staff of the care community, in more ways than one. The movie is also somehow both heartbreaking and heartwarming within the same scene: seeing Ruth slowly lose herself to dementia is incredibly sad, but the quality of life she receives at the facility, where she is treated with care and dignity, is equally moving to watch. 

Familiar Touch will be screened at the BFI London Film Festival on October 9-10, 2024. Read our list of 30 movies to watch at the 2024 BFI London Film Festival!